


Slowly

by notjustmom



Series: Ironstrange [52]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anniversary, Established Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, M/M, mucking about in time again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-05-16 03:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19309579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: “Also I wanted to be able to loveAnd we all know how that one goes, don't we?Slowly"- Mary Oliver, from the poem, 'Dogfish'





	1. Stephen

**Author's Note:**

> This work is just a tiny bit inspired by some behind the scenes interaction between RDJ and BC....

He had never believed in love at first sight. He wasn't even sure if he believed in the idea of love at all, and yet some part of him wanted to find that one person who could see through all the layers of crap and love him in spite of everything, and he needed to believe he was capable of loving that person in return.

After the accident, after the death of the Ancient One, after Dormammu and Mordo's decision to leave Kamar-Taj, he had given up on the idea that he had anything left to give to anyone, and he was certain that no one would be willing to accept whatever he was now, he wasn't even sure who he was then, and the little faith he once had in humanity had vanished over the last few years. And yet, somehow...

"Welcome back, Asshole."

He started at the voice, and realized in his exhaustion, he had somehow ended up in Tony's workshop instead of their bedroom. He had wanted to let Tony work, knowing he was most likely tweaking one of the Ironheart armors, or Peter's newest suit. The kid, who was now nearing thirty, should have armor the way he tore up his suits. He was still just as reckless as Tony had once been when he was still Iron Man, and Tony had spent years searching for the perfect material for his suits, strong enough to protect him, yet still light and flexible enough so he could swing through the city on his webs with ease.

"Missed you, too, Douchebag," he muttered as he ruffled Tony's hair and glanced briefly at his newest project, a pair of gloves, not for Peter, or Cap, but for himself. "Tony -"

Tony shrugged then closed the program down. "Meant to be an anniversary present. I think I'm close, Stephen, finally."

Stephen blinked at him and was glad of the dim light of the workshop, even though Tony knew him well enough to sense his confusion without seeing the expression on his face.

"The anniversary of the day we met, tomorrow it will be twenty years."

" _Twenty years? _" He couldn't keep the astonishment from his voice as he made a quick calculation and realized that it had indeed been twenty years since the first time he laid eyes on Tony Stark.__

__"Yep. Two decades. It only took me ten years to convince you that I loved you, and that you loved me, but I'd do it all over again."_ _

__Stephen blushed furiously, then cleared his throat, and whispered at Tony's ear, in the voice that he knew drove Tony out of his mind, "come to bed and prove it."_ _


	2. Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit on the angsty side...

He had been in love a few times, at least he thought he had been. Sometimes, it lasted for a few weeks, until he got bored, or she left when she understood he had a short attention span; there were those one night stands that he thought could have lasted longer, but he got cold feet, or they left him a note on the bedside table and were gone before he could make them coffee. He was better at friendship, the kind that lasted a lifetime, Rhodey and Pepper fit neatly into those boxes, and he knew they loved him and he loved them in ways that went beyond attraction and patience. They were the family he had spent his life wanting. And yet, he wanted more, someone who could look into his heart and just know him and love him. Not just for the man he had become, but also the man he had thought he might have once been.

If someone had ever asked when he knew how he felt about Stephen, he might have made a bored noise and gone back to what he was working on, or, if it happened to be someone he trusted and he was in the mood, he might have stopped what he was doing, taken off his glasses, ruffled his hair, looked them straight in the eye and admit that he had fallen in love with the arrogant former neurosurgeon the moment he spotted him across the crowded room.

But no one ever asked him, and if he actually considered it more honestly, even if he had been asked, he wasn't sure he would have been able to admit out loud that it had taken him ten years to convince Stephen that his love for him was stronger than anything, truer than - damn, he was beginning to sound like one of those ridiculous songs from the seventies that Stephen had such a fondness for. Of course, he was partly to blame, he had his own trust issues to overcome, his own fears of being left again, had prevented him from simply saying the words until the moment when he thought he had finally run out of time.

It was supposed to be a simple mission until it wasn't. If he had been on his own, he wouldn't have made it. He had known that at the time, and he knew that if Stephen hadn't been who he was, they both would have been lost, but it nearly cost him the love of his life, and Stephen still hadn't known, even as Tony had done and said everything but those three tiny words, three tiny words which had, in the end made all the difference.

Tony had flown Stephen back to the Sanctum, and waited for Wong to tell him what his prognosis was. He already understood that there wasn't anything physically wrong with him, it was a spell that had been cast against him, against both of them, and that he was the only one who could break it. He still had nightmares ten years later of that night, the night when he kept vigil over his best friend and lover, hoping to find the right words to bring him back.

 

"Master Stark. He is running out of time."

Tony blinked up at Wong and whispered, "what if I'm not enough, Wong?"

"Your love has always been enough, Master Stark, you only needed to say the words."

"Didn't he know? How could he not know?"

Wong had rolled his eyes at him and muttered under his breath as he left them alone. "Geniuses... two geniuses, give me two idiots every time."

"Stephen. You saved me. Again. I know, I do know how you feel about me, at least, I hope you don't keep saving my stupid ass just because of that 'do no harm' mantra of yours, I hope it's a bit more than that, I hope I mean more to you... hell. Thing is, I don't, I haven't ever, said the words, I mean together, in that order, to anyone before. So, this is a first for me, I hope you are listening, because I'm not sure - hell."

He picked up Stephen's hand in his, as Wong had instructed him, then cleared his throat and rasped out softly, "I love you, Stephen. I always have. I need you to wake up for me, I need you here, with me. Peter needs you, the cats need you, and yes, the world and the universe need you too, but I need you more. Please, Stephen, just wake up." He laid his head on the bed, and closed his eyes. "I love you. Just, please, don't leave me, Stephen." He must have fallen asleep, whether or not a spell had been cast on him, he never knew, but he knew the moment he felt Stephen's trembling hand in his hair, that they were going to be just fine. 

"Took you long enough, Douchebag." Stephen whispered into his hair, then paused for a moment before he rumbled, "I love you, too. Tony, I'm sorry it took -"

"Shhh." Tony laid a finger over Stephen's next words, and finally let the tears stream down his face as he whispered, "you stupid ass, don't ever do anything like that again. Do you hear me?"

Stephen nodded at him, though they both knew better, and Tony chose to believe the lie, as he climbed into the bed and held him as they both finally fell asleep.


	3. A Chance Meeting...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I seem to have a thing for diners...

It was a Friday night, but the last few years, Friday nights were no different than any other night; he would usually be spending his time pouring over some ancient texts or meditating, if he weren't dealing with some entity, benign or otherwise that had interest in the planet. For once he decided to take a few hours off, pretend he had no responsibilities and dressed in his best civilian clothes, rolled his eyes at Wong's raised eyebrow and crossed arms, then slipped into the real world only to return a few hours later, forever changed.

Of course, he had known who he was the minute his eyes landed on him. Even without his new powers he could see everything; the public persona he used to protect himself, and the interior life he was certain no one had ever been allowed to see before. His breath caught as Tony smiled at him and raised a drink in his direction, then tossed it back with practiced ease. He turned the glass over on the bar, and threw a few bills at the bartender. Stephen blinked and he had gone. Damn. He turned towards the door to find Tony standing in front of him. 

"A new face. I would have remembered seeing you here before -"

"Photographic memory."

Tony sighed and was about to turn away, but he looked up into Stephen's face, and saw the scars, physical and otherwise, and knew he faced the same demons he did when he fell asleep on those nights when he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. The silver eyes that met his stunned glare with complete understanding told him everything he needed to know. 

Without a word, Tony gently took his scarred hand, and led him out the door, and for the first time in years, the trembling stopped.

 

Somehow, despite their height difference, they fell into step easily, and Tony's fingers fit neatly with his, and he didn't question where he was being taken. He began to run through everything he knew about the silent man next to him, then stopped as Tony pushed open the door of a nearly deserted diner.

"Hungry? They have the best cheeseburgers." Tony picked up the menu, then let it fall from his fingers as he muttered, "please don't tell me you're a vegetarian."

"Not last time I checked. A burger sounds good."

Tony let out a deep sigh of relief and signaled to the waitress who had known him since childhood. "Hildy, two cheeseburgers with the works. This is -"

"Stephen, Stephen Strange."

"Right, two specials, with all the extras, Joe."

Stephen could hear a snicker of laughter from the kitchen, then watched a grin brighten Tony's face, and knew he had already lost his heart.

"Be right back." Tony got up from the booth and made a beeline for the men's room.

Hildy returned with two milkshakes, then stood back and crossed her arms at Stephen. "Well, Stephen, Stephen Strange. I hope you know what you are in for. I know you think you know who he is, just from what the press says, and the stupid stuff he does -"

"I've learned not to make assumptions." With a wave of his fingers, a bouquet appeared in her hand. She blinked at the flowers, then looked back at him for a minute, and smiled, even as she shook her head at him.

"They're beautiful. But watch out, Joe back there might get jealous."

Stephen laughed and shook his head. "As lovely as you are, Hildy, Joe has nothing to worry about." He looked up at the mirror to see Tony returning to the table. "I promise, I'll do my best not to hurt him."

Hildy looked at the flowers again, then into his eyes and nodded. "He's the best person I've ever known. It's not my place to say anything, but he obviously thinks a lot of you -"

"We met less than ten minutes ago."

She snorted and shook her head. "Well, he's taking a chance on you, then, isn't he? Listen, he's had a rough time of it lately, if you could, I dunno, just try to keep him safe? He needs someone -"

"I'll do my best," he repeated, then took a sip of the milkshake in front of him and sighed, "I haven't had one this good since -"

"Since?" Hildy raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned at her.

"Never. I've never had one this good before."

"Thought so." She whispered something to Tony before he sat down in his seat, and Stephen watched him blush then nod at Hildy and she disappeared into the kitchen.

"This isn't a test exactly, if you were wondering. I was just hungry -" Tony took a long sip of milkshake, and wiped his mouth, before he met Stephen's eyes and shrugged. "I've never brought anyone else here. They are the closest thing I have to parents, best judge of people I know, and she doesn't charm easily, but you've definitely made an impression."

"Two specials with all the extras, boys, enjoy." 

Tony laughed out loud as he saw Stephen's eyes pop at the enormous plates of food. "I won't think any less of you if you can't finish it."

Stephen raised a dark eyebrow at him and picked up the burger. "Wanna make a friendly wager?"

Tony laughed again and Stephen knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life making him laugh.


	4. Stephen and Pepper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first morning after...

Pepper walked into the kitchen to find Stephen staring at the coffee maker in confusion. She watched him for a moment, then coughed politely and muttered, "Jarvis."

"Yes, Ms. Potts." 

"If you wouldn't mind?"

"Of course." Jarvis started the coffee, then went offline.

Stephen turned and glanced at her, then grinned sheepishly at her. "I'm -"

"Stephen Strange, one time neurosurgeon, now -"

"Just call me Stephen."

"Pepper." She knew from her research that he didn't shake hands and the reasons why, and he shrugged at her, then walked over to the kitchen table and after seating himself quietly, with a twirl of his fingers, bagels and cream cheese appeared on the table. 

"Cinnamon Raisin, yes?"

She raised an eyebrow at him, then poured out two cups of coffee, and sat down next to him. "Cream and three sugars?"

"Touche." 

She sipped at her coffee in silence for a few minutes, then casually remarked, "he hasn't slept this long in years. Did you use your hocus-pocus or -"

Stephen picked up his cup and sighed as the warmth eased some of the pain in his hands, then muttered neutrally, "nope, just good old-fashioned sex wore him out," and he couldn't help but smile wickedly at her, as she nearly spit her coffee at him. She covered her mouth in surprise, though she quickly regained her normal even composure. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine. It's just been a long time since anything or anyone has surprised me."

Stephen put his coffee down and took his time observing her. Though she bore no visible scars, he could see what her time with Tony had cost her in other ways. She narrowed her eyes at him, then looked away. "It's been a long time since anyone - he's - we... look, can I be honest with you?"

"I wouldn't expect anything else from you," Stephen said quietly as he waited for her to continue.

"If this is just a one-time thing for you, it would be better if you left now, before he has a chance to - before he -"

Stephen reached over and laid a trembling hand over hers, and whispered as she lifted her eyes to look into his, "I'll be here as long as I can, for as long as he wants me to stay. I'll do my very best not to break his heart."

This time he was the one who was surprised when she wiped a single tear from her face, then got up from the table and kissed his cheek. She grinned at him as she rubbed the lipstick from his face, and she mumbled, "thank you, Stephen." She picked up her coffee, and slipped silently from the room.

He studied his coffee until it went cold, then looked up to see Tony leaning against the doorway, and he wondered how long he had been standing there. 

"You stayed." He took a deep breath and chuckled to himself as he noted the bit of lipstick that remained on Stephen's cheek, then made his way over to where he was still sitting, and without another word, helped Stephen to his feet, and led him back to bed.


	5. Growing Pains

Of course, it wasn't always quite that simple.

In the beginning, there were weeks and months when Tony wouldn't hear from Stephen, and except for cryptic texts from Wong, letting him know that the sorcerer was still alive, he knew very little. When he did appear, it would be without warning, but it seemed he always knew just when Tony was beginning to lose faith, and without a word, he would step from whatever universe he had just saved, or timeline he was messing about in, take him by the hand and lead him to bed. Usually it was enough for both of them just to be nestled together, and they would sleep for a day, or until a nightmare rudely jostled one of them from their hibernation. It had been enough until the afternoon when Tony pulled away from him, and after a moment, reached out to trace a new scar that had appeared since the last time he had seen him, until Stephen sighed and whispered, "ask. Just ask me and I'll do my best to answer."

"What are we doing?"

"We were about to go to sleep, I thought?" Stephen asked hopefully, then tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a yawn.

Tony rolled his eyes, and made a move to leave the bed, but Stephen sat up and shook his head. "Sorry. I didn't meant to be flippant, I know what you meant. You knew, you were aware, of who and what I am, when we met."

"Yeah, I know," Tony mumbled into his hands, and wouldn't turn to face him.

"I wish -"

Tony's head snapped around and he asked quietly, "what? What do you wish, Stephen? What do you want?"

Stephen sighed then whispered without touching him. "You know what I want."

Tony looked down at his hands and mumbled, "no, I don't. You know me, better than anyone. Give me a crisis, a problem, a puzzle, and I'm your guy, but if I have to try to guess what is going on in that magical brain of yours -" He bit his lip then let out a whimper as Stephen used a single trembling finger to lift his chin.

"I could be anywhere. In any universe, on any planet or timeline, or spending my time reading those dusty, ancient tomes in my library back at the Sanctum, but I choose to be here with you. There will come a time when I am no longer needed -"

Tony snorted and tried to turn away again.

"Tony. Do you want me, this, what we do have? I know what I can offer you isn't much, but know that when I am here, you are all I think about. You have my complete and undivided attention -"

"I know. God - I know, Stephen. I'm sorry. I shouldn't waste the time we have, it's just, one day, I know, Wong will send me a text or an email telling me in that off-hand way he has that you won't be coming back, and I'd rather fight by your side, than sit here waiting, not knowing -"

Stephen kissed his forehead, and shook his head. "You are needed here. And I could never do the things I have to do, be who I need to be if you were with me, you would try to protect me - and if anything ever happened to you, because of me?"

"It should be my choice, damn it. Next time. Please. Just let me -" Tony sighed his unfinished thought against Stephen's lips, then draped his arms around him as he felt him finally nod.

"I promise, next time, Tony, next time, I won't go without you."


	6. A Promise Kept

Stephen shivered and took a step back the first time he saw Tony in his armor. They had both worked hard to keep their other lives separate from their relationship until that moment, and though he had known, had seen images of him as Iron Man, the reality still took his breath away.

"Not bad, hmm?" He could hear the grin beneath the mask and he mentally kicked himself for the promise he had made.

"Not bad at all. Listen to me."

The mask fell away and Tony raised an eyebrow at him, then shook his head. "I know you were at a slight disadvantage when you agreed to take me with you -"

"Slight?" He tried to keep his voice steady, but the memory of that night, weeks earlier, still made his heart race. "Tony -"

"Stephen. You and I, from the moment I saw you, the moment we saw each other, there was no reason we should have met that night, but we did, and I don't believe in destiny or fate, I'm just not built that way, maybe you knew, or not, I don't care. But I'll be damned if I sit at home one more time when I could be by your side -"

"Hell." Stephen held Tony's face in his hands, then looked into his eyes for a long moment, and nodded. "I just wanted to keep you safe from the things I see, from my reality. You have your own nightmares, the things you have seen and done. I didn't want to add to them, but I see I won't be able to stop you." He kissed him lightly then leaned forward until their foreheads met, and he whispered, "it is my honor to have you fight by my side. If -"

Tony shook his head again, and muttered fiercely, "nope. Not gonna happen. Let's get this show on the road, Strange, open the damn portal." The mask covered Tony's face once more, and all Stephen could do was nod and open the portal to whatever dimension he was needed in, and for the first time, in a very long time, he was no longer on his own.

 

"Stark. Wake up. Please, Tony." Stephen sat back as Tony coughed then slowly opened his eyes. 

"Hey," Tony mumbled, as he reached up to lay his hand on Stephen's face, then groaned as he sat up, and looked around to find himself back in their bedroom in the Sanctum.

"Hey, yourself." Stephen looked into his eyes, then kissed his forehead and sighed as he felt Tony lean against him, then wrap his arms around him and hold on tightly. He realized there were more words he should be able to say, as he fully understood for the first time the depth of the love that Tony had for him. That love was the only thing that had saved them both from the coldest, darkest place he'd ever experienced, and as Tony settled into his arms and he watched him drift off to sleep, he knew without a doubt that he would never willingly leave Tony's side again.

 

They fought side by side for years until the morning Stephen opened his eyes to find Tony studying him. He knew as Tony leaned down to kiss him that he had worn the armor for the last time. His love for him hadn't grown cold, in fact, it had only deepened and grown stronger over the years, but he had sensed after their last battle that he was finished. "I'm sorry."

Stephen shook his head and opened his arms to him, and whispered as Tony curled around him, "no, no apologies. I couldn't have wished for a better partner, Stark. You have saved me, saved us, time after time, and it is past time for you to rest, Tony. You have done enough."

 

"Close your eyes, and put out your hands."

Stephen sighed, but turned in the direction of the voice and did as he was told. After a moment, his hands were wrapped in the softest gloves he'd ever worn in his life, and yet, his hands felt strong for the first time since his accident years earlier, while leaving his magic intact. "Tony..." he whispered, as he opened his eyes to find Tony smiling at him, in the same way he had the night they met, and he wondered, not for the first or last time, he was sure, what he had done in his life or past lives to deserve the man who stood in front of him.

"Happy Anniversary, Stephen."

Stephen looked into the dark brown eyes, the eyes he had loved more than anything or anyone else for the last twenty years, and whispered, "happy anniversary, Tony." Again, he knew there were words he could say, and if they were other people, he might have said them, but as Tony leaned against his chest and wrapped his arms around him, he knew no other words were necessary.


End file.
